+day three :)

Eight ways to win my heart:

1. Have red hair <3
2. Buy me hot chocolate!
3. Give me amazing hugs, please?
4. Nerds are hot, true fact.
5. Put up with my random fangirl spazzing.
6. Anyone who doesn't take themselves too seriously = (L)
7. Harry Potter fans? Fuck yeah!
8. Honesty. Really, I just want someone down to earth and honest. :)

My views on drugs and alcohol? Everything in moderation [/hypocrite] I suppose. Not an advocate of most drugs though.

day two

...because I forgot to post yesterday :P

Nine random facts :))

1. I will always maintain that Digimon is a BAJILLION times better than Pokemon.
2. Despite appearances, I'm actually quite introverted.
3. Right now, I'm torn between starting my Shuichi (Gravitation), James (Potter xD) and Tails costumes OTL
4. I have a strange obessession with putting cheese on pretty much anything else that's edible.
5. Peas are disgusting, true fact.
6. Orange is my favourite colour <3
7. The mere mention of Harry Potter will make me spazz uncontrollably
8. I'm currently reading through the Gravitation manga xD
9. I read way too many fanfics.

In ten years time I'll be 27. Yuck. I hope I'm happy, basically and that's about it. I guess I wouldn't mind having a significant other either, but I generally don't plan ahead any further than the next ten minutes, nevermind years xD

at this rate none of my work will get finished :L

Shouldn't have left it all til tonight but I've been working all freaking week >< and I just had to see Susan today. Getting no sleep is worth it when I get to see her.

She bought me a rather fetching orange *spazzyay* bracelet and a Vampire Knight necklace today :)) I also picked up volumes 3&4 of Gravitation (eek! want to go and read now ;____;)

Which brings me on to...

Cosplays I would like to do/ plan to do (so far):

• Tai Kamiya - Digimon Adventure 02 (Season 1 already done xD)
• Takeru "TK" Takaishi - Digimon Adventure
• digimonemperor!Ken Ichijouji - Digimon Adventure 02 [SHOW BIAS FTW!]
• Haruhi Suzumiya - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
• Shuichi Shindou - Gravitation
• Yuuki Cross/Kuran - Vampire Knight
• Hanabusa Aido - Vampire Knight
• James Potter - Harry Potter Series
• gijinka!Tails - Sonic the Hedgehog
• Sakura Kinomoto - Card Captor Sakura (various outfits)
• Yuiko Hawatari - Loveless
• Max Tate - Beyblade (stfu, I'm totes coolbeans.)
• Rin Kagamine - Vocaloid
• Kagami Hiiragi - Lucky Star
• Sora - Kingdom Hearts
• Minato Namikaze - Naruto
• Minako Aino/Sailor Venus - Sailor Moon
• Kaoru Hitachiin - Ouran High School Host Club
• Mitsukuni Haninozuka - Ouran High School Host Club
• Momiji Sohma - Fruits Basket

...and many more, if I ever do any of these I'll be impressed 8D I should also pick some more girls, dammit ><

day one;

1. I love you, so, so much.
2. You're the Sirius to my James :]]
3. Offs, everything you say is just bullshit.
4. Bitch, please.
5. I think of you as the mum of our group, you're so caring and mature.
6. Hi there, I miss you.
7. Our meeting was so coincidental but I've really grown to like you an awful lot.
8. Y'WHAAAAAAAAT!? Don't fuck with my friends.
9. We have awesome taste in fictional characters (h)
10. DIGIMON DIDJERMUM.

Currently in a relationship with a wonderful young woman who is the Lilyflower to my arrogant bullying toerag xD

thirty day challenge

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - Your beliefs.
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month

TWO IN ONE! =D

ten day meme challenge thingy

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot.
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

making a costume.

Is actually really, really hard. Especially as I forgot to consider the fact I am not an eleven year old boy. Oh my life. So now it doesn't actually fit me. Whoo!

Luckily, my mum is a miracle-worker with a needle and thread and should be able to fix it. I hope everyone will look past my stitching (I can't actually stitch in a straight, consistent line.)

Gah. I have a huge list of things I need to get still, OTL.

On a different note, Clara's today (whenever I actually get dressed 8D) it was her eighteenth on Saturday, but she buggered off and left us to go to New York. Eep, excited. In true Nichola-being-very-disorganised I still haven't actually BOUGHT the present. I know what I'm getting. Kind of. I picked a few things in one store and now have to decide.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

when all your dreams are shattered, everything is beautiful.

Long time, no blog.

Recently, I received two conditional offers to study Biology, from Exeter and Nottingham. (AAB and ABB respectively, *gulp*)

I have also been at work looooooooooooooooooads >.< I have to work in BLACKPOOL tomorrow. Great. I love new people and unfamiliar situations. Not.


To make matters worse, Heather didn't finish my halloween costume after all. Actually she barely started it, meaning lots of /trying/ to sew tomorrow. It's going to look awful but who cares, I'm having fun. <3

And, the wig is just epic. epicepicepicepicEPIC.

 Bad angle, crappy iPhone camera and no make-up = BLEH. But OMG >3< Wiggu <3 I love it so, so much. I'm wearing it right now as I type it. I really can't wait til Saturday now! :]]

you and I have got a lot in common

Yesterday. Wow. I'd say it was awful (which it was) but it wasn't. Even if I did chuck Mountain Dew over my head. Even if I would really, really like to slap a certain "friend". (Luckily, I know when to remove myself from a situation.) Even if it did chuck it down and I didn't have a coat and missed the last bus and my parents raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaged.

Because, my friends make everyday a good day. Whether it's sticking up for me, offering to mediate a situation because they can't bear to see me upset, laughing at me and my ridiculous lack of co-ordination, paying for me to get on the park and ride bus, demanding hot chocolate, balancing umbrellas on my head, talking like men or just generally reminding me who is really important.

I have an interview at Manchester 8D!

on my looooooove (L)

OH MY LIIIIFE, point one: seriously can not wait for Deathly Hallows. One more month <3.

Secondly:

 

Found this little beauty last night <33333 It's basically the Butter-fly opening of Digimon Adventure UP TO ELVEN. *fangasms* Sing along with me guys, KITTO TOBERU SA, ON MY LOOOOOVE! (The Kouji Wada version is also awesome, just so you know.) He's also done a cover of God Knows from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. [/geek out]

Or not... for my halloween costume...?

This cool kid. Oh yes (h). JUST LOOK AT THE HAIR <333

In other news: I have too much work to do, am very, very tired . Certain people really ought to grow up, I'm not being fucked about any more. Serious beans here! Also, I outright refuse to do my maths homework tonight. I'll do it before RE/at lunch tomorrow, simple. I miss Susan. BAAAAAH.

I'm also oddly obsessed with sheep, although I haven't been to Wales in an awfully long time. Oh, and facebook? STOP TELLING ME ABOUT SOMEONES COMMENT THAT HAPPENED TEN FREAKING HOURS AGO. Also, DO notify me when I get a friend request, I hate having to check my e-mails (I'm not even going to bother trying to delete them. Urgh.

P.S. DIGIMON DIDJERMUM xD

draw me closer, as if we were two magnets;

so that even if we separate, we will reunite again.

VOCALOID, FTW!

I miss this film.

OH MY LIFE.

I can't wait. 42 days. That has to be significant <3

what goes up must come down,

yet my feet don't touch the ground.

ZOMG! I have this <3 I still haven't played it yet (I've had sososososo much work) but still. I'm so glad I went to the lock in just because I found it! I can't wait for Sonic Colours to come out!

Secondly, I'm probably not going to expo now. The money is just... beyond our realms right now. Still, I should be able to afford a PS2 (and Sonic Heroes OMGOMGOMGOMG. I miss that game so much!)

Thirdly - OMG TONIGHT <3 Originally it was supposed to be just Hikari and I. However, Cheetos came too (because of how much food my mum bought) although when she got round to making the lasagne... my goodness! So. Much. FOOD. Clearly, the logical option was to invite Michael round, someone I've met, what, once!?

Totally amazing idea actually! Even if he did absolutely wipe the floor with us on Mario Kart. (It took me three rounds to even earn a single point, oh my life!) and at trampolining on Mario&Sonic(are you seeing a pattern here?). Although that was less wiping the floor and more "being completely amazing and earning a perfect score", seeing as Hikari and I did very well too. Cheetos sucked though! Our swimming started off awful (Vector can't swim and I still think it's completely and utterly against Olympic regulations for Sonic to wear a life jacket!) but eventually we came first as a team (okay, we relied a LOT on Hikari.)

Oh, and best way to win fencing? Fap-fap-faaaaaap!

i haven't posted in about two weeks.

Diddums.

Today is a wonderful, gorgeous day. FML. I'm working 'til eight.

I've had some fun over the past couple of weeks, particularly setting up our Animanga club and spending time with Hikari (her mum is amazing, just saying!)

However, I'm also really frustrated by a certain person's hypocrisy. "Don't be so controlling." yet ignoring everyone elses suggestions and taking over themselves? Bah. What makes it worse is this person's nerve to call themself my friend and yet go running to my best friend accusing me of having a go constantly, to make my life that much worse.

I'm not having a go love, you just need to handle the truth.

Oh yeah, and even if it was a joke, I don't particularly appreciate having certain secrets announced in public to people I barely know, kthnx. [/rant over]

Other than that... college is hard, being at home is hard, work is hard. Pah. Best friends playing rather harsh practical jokes?

FML right now.

This post was brought to you by the letter 'L'

for Lauren. ^___^

'nuff said.

this year...

will be fucking awesome. Expletive totally necessary.

The one person who can convince me that it would be much more sensible to walk several miles home (the long way) instead of waiting for the bus to come, is at Newman College! (We're going to make this a regular occurence, too!)

So yes, after deliberating on Dr Pepper versus water, steak-slaps and cosplay fun, we did her homework on idiolect.

"She's having a baby!" "Beef is not vegan!" "Is it vegetarian though!?" "Drama llama!" "Fail whale!" "I'll give you five camels for her."

All this will be read in her English essay 8D Life is good. I have no more words to express how happy I am right now.

day twelve:

Your celebrity crush.

Oh shush.

i've had a good day doing things the wrong way;

Buh. My head feels like it's about to collapse in on itself and I can barely breathe through my nose. Lovely.

I am also really, really annoyed with myself for not being able to choose a subject to drop. I'm going to die this year, I know it. I already have an absolute mountain of work to do. However, I am glad that my timetable hasn't changed, I love C block Wednesday's with Amy, discussing the colour of Visa debit cards, politics and cosplay plans 8D.

I can't waaaaaaaaait for Expo in October! Really, I can't. It's almost all I talk about at the moment. <3 I'm also excited for MCM Expo coming to Manchester next July! Although I think it's only a one day thing OTL on the 30th, meaning I'll be eighteen *mind is blown*

day eleven:

A youtube video.



This. 8D

day ten:

A food you could live off. That would be mash potato.

day nine:

Something you're proud of in the past month

Results? My life is average.

day eight:

Short term goals for this month and why:

1. UCAS application. Early application suck ):
2. Find a bubblegum pink wig, orange jumper, two pairs of board shorts (or crop some pants) and make that shirt. For expo 8D
3. Tidy my room. Ouch.

day seven:

A picture of you and your closest friend.

Yes, Thomas the Tank Engine is my best friend. Also, general "lolwhut!?" :]]

corrie tonight

Really got to me :| stupid Sally Webster.

Oh yeah, and Rosie is still a vacuous bitch. Remember when she used to be the smart one? Hahaha :'D

yummy :))

Back home :)) went to somewhere in Garstang with mummy and daddy. It was boring so we decided to go to Frederick's for ice cream.

Vanilla ice cream is love <3

twenty five questions;

Read this and you're tagged.

1. Do you have any pets?


Yes, a rather adorable hamster called Dougie :))

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.

Coffee cup, hairbrush, cushion.

3. What's the weather like right now?

Sunny and pretty!

4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?

I don't.

5. What time did you wake up this morning?

11.12 :P

6. When was the last time you showered?

Yesterday.

7. What was the last movie you saw?

Memoirs of a Geisha 8D "Hatsumomo... that snake!"

8. What does your last text message say?

I have no idea and I am not going to get my phone just to check.

9. What's your ringtone?

Buzz-buzz.

10. Have you ever been to a different country?

Yep. France, Germany, Spain, Bulgaria, Wales and Scotland (do they even count?)

11. Do you like sushi?

I'm not adverse to it.

12. Where do you buy your groceries?

Anywhere but Tescos.

13. Do you take medication to fall asleep?

Nope. I just don't xD

14. How many siblings do you have?

Uno.

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

Both :))

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

Eighteen :O it's ages away though!

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?

Glasses, but I want zapping.
18. Do you color your hair?

I get highlights put in Too often.
19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.

Well I want to go to BK D:

20. When was the last time you cried?

A couple of nights ago?
21. What is your perfect pizza topping?

Mushroom, spicy salami 8D

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers?

Cheeseburgers. Hamburgers are just stupid!

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?

Of course.

24. What is your eye color?

Brown. 8D
25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?

Yes, but I like both 8))

day six;

A photo of you from 2007

Odea. That's all I'm saying :')

day five;

A website. http://www.fanfiction.net/ :))

day four;

A photo that you took.

Yes, that is Danny Jones, some randomer and Dougie Poynter from McFly 8D

bleh.

I am currently fuming. And trying not to cry.

Today has been... stressful. Followed by rioutous arguments at home, finding out just how few people I really can trust and an ultimatum about whether I actually stay at home.

Lovely.

I'm too angry and upset to think straight. If I try and sort this mess out, I will inevitably dig the hole much deeper. I just hope I can spend most of tomorrow out of here.

And maybe Sunday night :| it could get a bit... heated.

day three;

What I did today. Today, I got up early and went to work. That's pretty much all I have to say on the matter.

Quoted from Katy:

Basically it's when you're writing something and you look over it and if you find any blocks of particularly good writing, you cut them out. If you keep in stuff that stands out, the readers will notice it and it'll look kind of bad? I can't explain it very well, so just google it if you want to (or just put it this way, Stephenie Meyer can't murder her darlings - the only thing she murders are vampire mythology and feminism, but that's for another day - as is evident by her overuse of adjectives. Writers who don't do that can murder their darlings.

Because no day is complete with acknowledging what a bastardisation of literature Twilight truly is.

<3

loveless;

Loveless is amazing. On so many levels. I will have to go into detail at some point :) Off to work now.

excitemeeeeent!

Tomorrow, I have work. However, I no longer have to work on Saturday, which is good news.

Because Cheetos and I are going to try and bake a cake. Or just wreck my kitchen, followed by a sleepover in ICU. We plan to photo document our misadventures and share them with the world. And go gaga over my hamster.

...I've just realised I'm going to have to tidy my room. Oh shit :')

I want to see this film, I really do! Susan said it was hilariously funny and it just looks like it'd be a reet giggle :)) Must harass someone, must.

pop.

goes the Happy Meal box.

I broke one today. Oops.

"Pop it harder and it won't be crooked!"
*pops*
"...odea."
"Aha, maybe not quite that hard!"

Sam makes my shifts more fun :))

wordsearches.

Don't you think those letters who get to be part of two (or even three!) are such attention whores when you're doing wordsearches. Just a thought.

ten things

Ten things that you'd like to say to ten people.

I'll see how many of these I can do before I have to go to work :)) if you guess any, let me know.

1. You already know how this goes. You're the very best friend anyone could ever hope for and don't you dare think differently. The world is blue.
2. There's lots of things I'd like to say here but you're either not going to read it or be extremely embarassed. Just know that I absolutely adore you, you make my world a brighter place.
3. Have fun dying a virgin.
4. Hi there! I can't believe you haven't divorced me yet. You're beautiful, you need to get that into your head. Beyond that, you're an absolutely wonderful friend, but I want my dress back. Dry-cleaned, preferably.
5. I've always admired your honesty - you're usually the person who has the guts to just ground me and keep me sane and for that, I'm really grateful.
6. You blow hot and cold all the time. I don't know whether you want to be friends, use me or cause trouble most of the time. When you're at your best, you're a sweet, funny girl. When you're at your worst you're a complete bitch and  I don't even want to know you.
7. I don't think I'd have got through this year if I hadn't started rambling to you about grindylow. Thank you.
8. I really can't see why people like you. You're a prick, go fuck yourself.
9. I wish we were closer but I think you're a really lovely person and I can't wait to see you again.
10. Oh goodness, we have too many fun times. Your sense of humour is, to be polite, ridiculous. I love it though. Thanks for being my rock and always cheering me up when I'm down.

On an alternative note, I bought Dirt by Kids In Glass Houses for £3 yesterday. At HMV. Life is good.

day two:

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Somewhere over the rainbow? Because the Wizard of Oz is amazing and I watched it practically every other day with my grandparents when I was younger. Those were great times and I would love to go back to them.

Then there's my little obsession with rainbows... it's not as bad as my ginger fetish at least. Ho hum.

day one:

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 5 random facts about yourself.


Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin! I have way too much fun (and look like a crazy stripper, thanks Clara.)

1. I have an odd, irrational fear of numbers that aren't multiples of five.
2. I cannot make sense of the obsession with fashion.
3. I prefer Digimon to Pokemon. So fucking sue me :))
4. I firmly champion the fact that Harry Potter is absolutely amazing and makes Twilight look like a piece of shit. Because that fact is just not debatable.
5. My favourite food is either potato salad or mash potato. Let's just make that potatoes in general. 8D

I am not doing this over thirty days. My attention span will just not let that happen

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 5 random facts about yourself.


Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- What you did today

Day 04- A photo you took

Day 05- A website

Day 06- A photo of you from 2007

Day 07 -A Picture of you and your closest friend

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past month

Day 10- A food you could live off

Day 11- A youtube video

Day 12- How you found out about blogspot and why you made one

Day 13- Your celebrity crush

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your player on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- A picture of you taken today

Day 17- Something you have created

Day 18- The last film you saw

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- A picture that makes you smile

Day 21- A screen shot of your desktop

Day 22- Your favourite album/s

Day 23- The last thing you ate/drank

Day 24- Whatever tickles you’re fancy

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- Your favourite band at the moment

Day 27- A collection you have

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- What you wore today

Day 30- What you see yourself doing in 5 years time

o hay work.

No, I cannot come in whilst I'm at college. Sorry about that :))

and did i mention that youbothsuck.com

Stole this from something Katy posted about two months ago because I'm bored :))

LAST:


1. Last drink = Water.

2. Last phone call = Susan.

3. Last text message = Clara.

4. Last song you listened = Luckiest Loser - Bowling For Soup

5. Last time you cried = Yesterday.

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice = Yes.

7. Been cheated on = No.

8. Kissed someone & regretted it = Kinda. Oh fuck it, yes.

9. Lost someone special = Yes.

10. Been depressed = Yes.

11. Been drunk and threw up = Yes.


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. Orange.

13. Blue.

14. Purple.
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

15. Made new friends = Yes.

16. Fallen out of love = Eh. No.

17. Laughed until you cried = Yes.

18. Met someone who changed you = Yes.

19. Found out who your true friends were = Yes. xD

20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yes.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list = Yes.

TRUTHS:

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life = Most.

23. Have you ever been given a a Valentine = Yes.

24. Do you have any pets = DougDoug the HamHam.

25. Do you want to change your name = Kind of.

26. What did you do for your last birthday = Pizza Hut! :]]

27. What time did you wake up today = 4.57, wtf.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Talking to Susan and Lauren. Okay, I actually went to bed just before midnight, so read that as "about eleven thirty", okay?

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = To see a certain person :)

30. Last time you saw your mother = Just before she left.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? = Be more confident.
32. What are you listening to right now = Simple and Clean - Hikaru Utada

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Yes.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now = How warm the laptop is getting D:

35. Most visited webpage = Facebook. Or fanfiction.net *guilty as charged*

36. What is your middle name = Elizabeth.

37. Nicknames = Spaikae! Nic. Nicki. Taichi! Shu-chan! Seme-sama! Daddy!

38. Relationship Status = Taken ;D

39. Zodiac sign = Cancer.

40. Male or female or transgendered = Female.

41. Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same gender = Yes. Wow, no shit Sherlock!

42. Do you drive = Nope.

43. Do you go to college = Yes.

44. Hair colour = Naturally, blonde. Currently... blonde o_o. For me, this is bizarre!

45. Long or short = About medium? It's really not long at all, but it's not exactly short either.

46. Height = 5'1"

47. Do you have a crush on someone? = Yes. :))

48: What do you like about yourself? = I like that I can laugh at myself.

49. Piercings = Ears.

50. Tattoos = None.

51. Righty or lefty = Righty!

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery = Do tooth extractions count?

53. First piercing = Ears.

54. First best friend = Heather/Cheetos at primary school.

55. First sport you joined = LOL.

56. First vacation = Somewhere down south, I don't even remember xD

58. First crush = ...no idea!
RIGHT NOW

59. Eating = Nothing.

60. Drinking = Water.

61. I'm about to = Who knows.

62. Listening to = Kids In America - Len.

63. Waiting to = do nothing. :))

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? Not really, but we'll see.

65. Get married? Maybe.

66. Careers in mind? I'd love to be a research scientist! Or a teacher :]]

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes = Eyes. ...for the most part ;)

68. Hugs or kisses = Hugs.
69. Shorter or taller= Taller. It'd be hard to find someone shorter though...

70. Older or Younger = Older.

71. Romantic or spontaneous = Either, but I'll go with spontaneous for now.

72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Stomach.

73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive. Maybe. Perhaps I just can't imagine being with someone louder than me?

74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship.

75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Trouble maker.

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger = No.

77. Drank hard liquor = Yes.

78. Lost glasses/contacts = Yes.

79. Sex on first date = No.

80. Broken someone's heart = Yes.

81. Had your own heart broken = Kind of but not really. It's complicated.

82. Been arrested = Nope.

83. Turned someone down = Yes.

84. Cried when someone died = Yes.

85. Liked a friend that is a boy? = Maybe?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself = Don't believe in yourself! Believe in me, who believes in you!
87. Miracles = No.

88. Love at first sight = No.

89. Heaven = No.

90. Santa Clause = No.

91. Kiss on the first date = Yes.

92. Angels = No.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

93. Is there one person you want to be with right now? = Yes.

94. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? = No.

95. Did you sing today? = No.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? = About three?

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? Um, idk. Pleasure Beach was fun?
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = Not anymore. :P

100. Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend? = Yes.

aquarius!

I have a new notebook :)) I'm going to start writing again.

I enjoy cheesy shows about spinning tops, magical playing cards and digital critters more than any self-respecting seventeen year old should.

Oh well, fanfiction <3

lazy sundays

Are lovely, especially when you're very, very sleepy :)

I got back from Bulgaria (the land of underage drinking!) on Friday night and went to work yesterday, OTL. I was supposed to work until six, but I got to leave at four thirty, yay!

I saw Cheetos-Wheetos for the first time in over two weeks, rather emotional get-together. Okay,  I kid. We went for tea together and had some real fun harrassing Susan and generally being silly in her room. :)

Her dad is on to me. I don't know how to feel about that, tbh.

This summer is going too fast. I'm probably going to visit Clara on Thursday to see her Russian findings and I'll be attending her Alice in Wonderland garden party on the 23rd :)) I also need to find time and money to see Katy, Lauren, Amy and various other wonderful people. Heather doesn't count, I'll just walk into her house whenever I feel like it.

I'm also going to go to Susan's to prepare our cosplays for expo in October, I'm still not entirely sure who were acually doing but I can't waaaaaaaaait to run around being Tai <3

you are discriminating against suitcases!

Good morning blog :) It's been a while.In the past week I've been to Oxford for a UNIQ summer school, turned seventeen, eaten lots of cake and chocolate, had a birthday party, spazzed about future cosplay ideas and found out I'm heading off to Bulgaria on Friday :).

Initially, I had really reservations about going to UNIQ - what would the people be like? Did I really want to be on my own for my birthday? Am I gonna be in way over my head with all the work? Things got worse on Sunday morning when I found out my Grandma had been taken into hospital (later shown to be a simple case of food poisoning, but it was pretty serious at the time.)

Honestly though, I think it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I had an absolutely fabulous time, I'd definitely do it over again. The city itself was beautiful, the work was engaging and interesting, the social activites actually weren't horrific, (free tickets to see the Tempest outdoors on Wednesday, anyone?) [It was actually warm and sunny, no torrential rain for me :)] the people I met were absolutely amazing and I've come away convinced about my plans for the future, at least up until Uni. Good stuff, I reckon :)

I even got an impromptu birthday party :]

(l-r) Niall, Harriet, Me, Roisin & Ruth. Before a formal 'stripe' themed disco... we didn't pay much attention to that.

Raj & I at a "formal drinks reception". (:

My improptu birthday party (clockwise) Harriet, Raj (squished in!) Nial, Michelle, Lucy, Me, Matt, Josh, Roisin, Amy, Ruth, Howard + Christa :)

All in all, a brilliant week, even if we did get trapped on a wet farm and forced to spit for about ten minutes straight! I definitely, definitely want to apply, it's likely I won't get a place, granted, but if I don't try then there's no chance (: Ah, I enjoyed it so much and I'm really glad to be able to keep in touch with everyone!

I got home late on Friday, worked Saturday and went to Nando's with my best friend Heather Cheetos DELICIOUS DAVIS! (Who had better keep away from Kari!) For once, I was the one dressed up (I wore a skirt! *everyones jaw hits the floor* We went con mis padres y mi hermano and my brother wussed out because his burger was too hot! Strangely, I looked okay when I went out, infact, when we left the table to order, we found this written in our menu:

"We fancy the bird with the blond hair." Okay, my mum has red hair, my brother isn't a "bird" and I sincerely hope that isn't referring to my dad (who's a brunet anyway). So, that leaves Heather and I. I guess Heather has a blonde fringe? Who cares, this made me chuckle :)

I would also like to quote something which will help (or might help) the understanding of something later on, "The cheesecake, it's confusing. It looks like cheese, it is cheese... but it's really tasty, like chocolate." Oh how I adore my best friend.

After that, we headed home (Heather stopped over.) Cue staying up til about four am discussing unsavoury folk, talking baout sexy Russian starfish and generally being pricks. Oh, and getting up at ten OTL. My daddy did go out especially to buy is brioche though <3. For some reason, Cheetos & I decided to watch American Idol on a Sunday morning at breakfast. I don't know either. Enter, three violin playing triplets dressed like sparkly prostitutes. They were actually brilliant violinists, but the stripperific dance moves and voices that made your ears bleed.

"Wow... this strip act is confusing. Like the cheesecake." "Mhmm... tasty too."

After that, we went shopping and I bought a pair of gorgeouuuus heels from New Look to wear at my party on Monday night. We looked around some other places, had milkshakes and then headed off home for more sleep :]

I looooove them so, so much <3 All the pretty lace *squee*

What I did during the day on Monday is of no consequence to anyone (read as: slept) so I'll skip forward to Monday night. After a facial disaster because I can't say no to anyone, even insane hairdressers who want to tan my face and cover me in make-up and bronzer. (Ew, no) I headed off to Pizza Hut after blagging a tenner from my dad. And a lift. Which involved picking up Heather. Ah, life :)

Like I suspected, most people were slightly late and I was very, very thankful that Heather's mum had bought me an umbrella. There were thirteen of us at the table, actually (ooh - unlucky) as Jenn, Eve and Rob couldn't make it. However, everyone else turned up. Including Amy and Chris... eventually. After realising they weren't there and no one had heard from them, I was about to call Amy and check on the two of them. However, she got there first.

"Nicki, where are you! We've been looking around for ages and can't find anyone."

"We're at Pizza Hut... where are you?"

"Pizza Hut."

"*sigh* Which one?"

"The one at the Capitol Centre..."

"*facepalm* I saiiiiid the one in town - near college!"

Hilarity ensued. They got there eventually, needless to say.

                                   

We didn't take many pictures, due to shoving our faces with pizza (or pasta, if you're Lauren *glares*) and being dicks, but I put this one in here because it's just... amazing :P

I'm also very happy that Phil is now using the "facepalm" picture on facebook - despite trying to make me delete it! Alas, I couldn't as he didn't buy Susan and I dessert! The kind people at Pizza Hut stayed open evtra long so we could have dessert and gave me ballons, yaaaaaaay!

We then waited ageeees for Lauren's mum to pick her up, and discussed Digimon and sung DON'T STOP BELIEVINNNNN' loudly in the rain. Then, we trekked valiently to the train station (at this point it was only Heather, Jess, Susan, Squidge & I). My feet were very painful as Imy did not give me my trainers back =_=. To be fair, she has a shoe fetish...

So, that's about it. One last photo before I go though :] Jess drew this brilliant, all-biro masterpiece of Wargreymon [MOST BADASS DIGIMON, BITCHES!] in my card and I just had to include it because of how awesome it is :) It still looks brilliant (although not quite as fantastic) after the iPhone camera treatment, so enjoy!

                                           

Adios, amigos. I'm off to read my new manga x)

Hi :) Long time, no see Mr Blog. I always start blog posts and never finish them. I'll start with a run down of the week, then I might back track. Chronological order is for losers.

This week started out pretty dreadfully, tbh. I was tired, lonely, dealing with rain and fell out with an old friend. In a pretty big way, actually. At the time, I was really upset but it won't get me down for long. People change, life moves on. I don't need friends who upset me constantly, and neither does anyone else, for that matter. Some things don't work out, shit happens. It's called life.

Although I do have some of the most fantastic friends ever. They've kept me cheerful all week. I've got closer to certain people this week too, which makes me happy (:

Tonight, I went out for a meal with my grandparents - it's their 56th (?) wedding anniversary tomorrow and my grandad's birthday on Sunday.

I'm going off to Oxford for the week on Sunday! I'll be away on my own birthday - that's Wednesday ;D I also want to make some sea salt ice cream.

The weekend before last, I went to Manchester with Jenn, Cheetos, Susan and some other people. Cheetos and Jenn did some cosplay shots and I photobombed a bit... because I'm an evil sod. I also got a beautifulll new dress <3

Then, Wednesday to Friday I was in Cambridge/Oxford. George cracks me up, I swear, Sarah's a lovely friend and Rachel is the nicest teacher everrrr. Ice cream ftw! I'll buy it on Wednesday night <3

Tomorrow is Susan's birthday party. I'll try and update you on that tomorrow (:

Saturday to Sunday

Yesterday was Saturday (no fucking shit, sherlock!) and I went to Heather's party - I was going to blog about that, but I came home for all of about... ten/fifteen minutes!

It started off with me waking up and trying to find my work uniform. Running around like a headless chicken, I realised I need to be more organised.

I only had a four and a half hour shift and it was my last training shift. I had a few... "visitors". In the form of Cheetos, Fio, Susan and Jenn. Cheetos and Fio came purely to wind me up and we had a maock argument, in which Cheetos threatened to tell my manager about my poor customer service, to which I pointed out she and Fio weren't engaging in any custom and that I had been perfectly polite to Jenn and Susie :) (who actually bought something!)

Oh, and Cheetos, if you read this - stealing someone else's drink does not make you a customer. :)

Then I ran home. Well, to my Dad's car - he drove me home! Where I got all dressed up for Cheetos' party.

At Cheetos' party there was : Cheetos (duh), me (duh, again), Jenn, Susan, Fio (you should have assumed they came anyway, from above), Shay, Fag, Amy, Eleanor, Nicola and two other people who I'm struggling to recall right now.

To say it was fun would be an understatement.

Best bits though:

• Susan walking out of the women's toilets and straight into the mens. Cheetos, Jenn, Fio and I nearly pissed ourselves.
• *spills coke* "I'm wet! I'm all wet! I can feel it in my knickers!"
• "KEEP AWAY FROM MY SISTER, DAMMIT!" "...I love you!?" "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP NOW."
• everything else!

Especially a certain something :D

Then, some bad stuff happened on the way back, but it's allllll good now! :) However, I ended up arguing over the phone to my mum and staying at Heather's (not because of the argument).

I love spending time at Heather's seriously! We pissed about pretty much all night with a bag full of sweets :) and talked until about two thirty or something ridiculous.

We woke up at 4.57 am. WTF. We went back to sleep and got up at half eleven ;D Then we ate breakfast and watched Lilo and Stitch <3 I love kids films too much!

I came home to find out my Grandma has given me TWO hair curlers and my old DVD player back (my TV with DVD broke) and that I was getting my parents old telly. (They got a new one about two weeks ago? Maybe three.)

Now, I'm excited for... well, everything :) & playing matchmaker mwhahahahaa!

Y'know what, Maths can go to hell.

I'll copy the markscheme or something tomorro, maybe. Right now I don't care about the consequences or the fact it won't help me learn. I hurt. I feel really teary and emotional too.

Let's back up a little, this morning, my bus crashed into another bus. It wasn't a big crash or anything and I walked away thinking I was completely fine. Later on in the day though, I started getting pains in my neck and back and feeling a bit dazed. Then I started crying over stupid things and just generally being a twat. Now I just feel... eugh. The only thing I really remember is the windscreen shattering. I think I'm afraid of broken glass, aha.

On a brighter note, I'm really excited about this Extended Project Rachel told me about. I'm definitely going to give it a go. I might do it on a Chemistry based subject, to further my university application with knowledge, or maybe do something completely different, like life in fascist Spain.

I really, really don't know what to get a certain someone for her birthday. I wish she'd just tell me because I really want to get her something nice.

I'm also really excited about the fact that Rob and co are going to expo too... and staying at the same hotel as us!

50 things I love.

So yeah, a more positive version of yesterdays "50 things I hate".

1. My family.
2. My friends, in general.
3. Heather/Cheetos.
4. Ellie.
5. Katy.
6. Sandi.
7. Clara.
8. Police hats.
9. Sexy Americans in police hats.
10. Accusing my darling husband of stealing my dresses.
11. Harry Potter!
12. DIGIMON! DIDJERMUM.
13. Card Captor Sakura.
14. TouyaxYukito - my favourite ship ever!
15. Green Day.
16. Going to see Green Day on Wednesday.
17. Having a job.
18. The fact I am actually going to London Expo in October!
19. When I like someone and by some weird twist of face they're crazy enough to like me back :3
20. CHOCOLATE <3
21. Alcopops. So sue me, I'm a pisshead.
22. That feeling when you crawl into new, clean sheets after a long, hard day.
23. Every now and then acting like a girl. :')
24. Travelling.
25. Languages.
26. Sciences.
27. Inside jokes with wonderful people who never fail to make you smile.
28. Mocha coffee.
29. Fruit, veg and salad. Yes, I'm weird.
30. Sunshine - it just makes the days seem happier.
31. Rainbows.
32. Thunderstorms.
33. Being by a beach or in the countryside.
34. Shopping. I'm a girl, what can I say?
35. Pigtails!
36. HOEEEE!?
37. Lady GaGa. Oh yessss.
38. Banoffee pie. Hence the blog title.
39. Cheesecake!
40. Hair bands. And clips, bows etc.
41. Bright colours!
42. Polka dots!
43. Really comfy shoes.
44. When I make someone else smile. :)
45. Milkshakessssss *gulp*
46. Insulting people I truly adore.
47. Late nights and early mornings.
48. Gigs.
49. Pepsi Max.
50. Life.

All done :) This took so long it's untrue.

50 things I hate.

I'll follow this up in a bit with 50 things I love (:

1. Periods. Seriously, guys out there - you have it easy. Getting randomly and extremely pissed off for a few days and then bleeding non-stop for a week. Not fun. And the stomach cramps. Just, no.
2. Hypocrites. You know who you are.
3. Being patronised. Seriously, try to patronise me and I will chew you up and spit you out.
4. Loneliness.
5. Stubbing my toe. Painful.
6. When the laptop charger falls out.
7. Travel sickness.
8. People who constantly complain about their parents without good reason. Mum wasn't happy with the fact you went out and got absolutely shitfaced and the police came round? Your fault, your problem. Grow the fuck up.
9. When you're in the car, a great song comes and hey, guess what - you're at your destination. Same on foot with iPods.
10. Discrimination of any kind. Not cool, guys.
11. Having such pale skin that I burn within minutes.
12. When it's hot and rainy. At the same bloody time.
13. When your knickers actually do get twisted or up your bum. This can't just be me.
14. You like me, I like you... you're already with someone. Not cool.
15. People spelling genius wrong. Oh, the irony.
16. Anyone who thinks Digimon is just a cheap rip-off Pokemon. Did not do the research.
17. Maths exams.
18. Exams in general.
19. Coursework too, for that matter.
20. Homework.
21. Numbers that aren't multiples of five with volumes.
22. Burnt toast.
23. Days when the sky is overcast and gloomy.
24. Twihards. Oh so much.
25. On that note, most die-hard fans of any nature or fandom.
26. Looking for a comb and somehow finding myself staring into the cold light of the fridge.
27. Being uncoordinated and clumsy. It's not cute, it's dangerous.
28. Dirty glasses.
29. The fact we never have any fruit in the house.
30. Bananas that are gooey.
31. Making typos constantly. I'm losing my tooth enamel. Oh, and I had to go and correct this twice.
32. Most other atheists. Sure, you have the right to not believe in God but other people also have the right to believe. As long as no one's trying to invoke religious hatred, can't we all just get along?
33. On the other side of the coin, people who are overly religious and won't let you forget that their religion is right and you're going to burn in hell if you don't convert.
34. Being skint. 'Nuff said.
35. The fact I currently do not have, nor will I ever have, real glittery fairy wings. My life sucks.
36. Chain mail.
37. People with no manners.
38. When you're so focussed on a really hard question in an exam and BAM, someone starts hacking their guts up.
39. People who seem to pay no attention to the world around them. There's 24 hour news these days, there's no excuse for your ignorance.
40. Pluto not being a planet. I'm being serious with this one, does this mean Sailor Pluto is no longer a Sailor Senshi? HELP ME! 40
41. When you really need the toilet but you're having an important conversation with someone and try so hard to hold it in.
42. Needing to wee in exams.
43. The fact I'm pretty much dependent on technology. Like the rest of today's youth.
44. People who drink out of the bottle. Rank!
45. Arnold Clark motorstores. Second hand cars have always been cheaper than their new equivalents. Stop trying to make a virtue of it.
46. My lack of Hogwarts letter/attendance.
47. The England flag we got in The Sun. I'm not unpatriotic, it's off-centre!
48. The Sun. Most tabloids, actually.
49. People who can't handle or listen to a reasonable argument and sometimes just agree to disagree. You're wrong, go home and deal with that fact.
50. The D I got in Art. I'll be honest, I regret it. It is a laugh though, I suppose.

alejandroooooooooooooooo

Kind of rhymes with nandooooooooos!

So, we went to Nandos afterall. I had never been before but it was really, really yummy :) However, the extra extra hot sauce was actually rather mild. Seriously, get us a hotter sauce, you big wusses.

I also drank way, way too much coke. I had about seven large glasses, which is actually an awful lot. But, seeing as a "bottomless" glass is £2.10 it worked out at 30p a pop! I really, really should have stopped at five though OTL.

Heather has an interview at McDonalds <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! What I wouldn't give to be able to work alongside my best friend. (:

Tomorrow, I have my second shift at work and I'm going to be trained by a girl called Suki. I have no idea who she is. I hope she's as nice as Matt was and that Matt enjoys Download festival. :)

I've also been watching waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much Sailor Moon lately. MOON PRISM POWER!

she's not broken, she's just a baby;

you were everything I wanted;

but I just can't finish what I started.

This blog post is dedicated to Katy. Who reminded me I have a blog. I haven't posted since then end of April or something.

ONLY ONE MORE EXAM LEFT!

green day in SEVEN days!

Yes, I am very, very excited.

Today is Heather's birthday. She's sixteen. Legal now.

To buy a lottery ticket, pervs! We're going to Nandos or Pizza Hut tonight. I don't know which. I'll update you tomorrow afternoon or later tonight. It's gonna be awesome though :) I'm going over later to see her hamster costume. What sixteen year old has a hamster costume? My best friend, that's who!

All in all, Chemistry and Biology could have been worse, much, much worse. I also have a job now at McDonalds. It's actually pretty fun too xD I've got a shift tomorrow, 11-4 and I'm excited! I like feeling like I'm earning my money. Unlike other people I could rant about but I won't here, it's a private thing.

Last week was half term, but I still have this week as "study leave" (seriously, study? nah!) I went to Manchester, primarily to see Sandi (who dragged Reanne along) and ened up meeting Charlotte too. I also bumped into Jenn&Susan. I was groped a lot too. FML.

xD

I'm still nearly constantly wanting to punch someone in the face. I wonder if I should just do it, get it out of my system.

you've got nothing to lose except for me and you;

and I love that attitude, when you know I can do
I'll do better than you.

From now on, I will title and probably include song lyrics in each post. For fun. I'll even tell you the song. Sometimes.

Todays song is Liquid Confidence by You Me At Six.

And yes, the last one was Bad Romance Bromance by Lady GaGa.

They may or may not be relevant to how I feel or anything, but they'll be stuck in my head at least.

On with the show. Estoy muy cansado, pero soy feliz! (I love how you're to use two different verbs there!) This afternoon, I planned to go to sleeeeeeep, because I'm really tired. As in, almost fell asleep in Biology tired. However, I received a letter. From Oxford. About the UNIQ Summer School.

...I freaking got accepted!

Which means I basically have an extra week of academic work added on to this term. Funsies. No, really :)

Beyond that, today has been reasonably okay. I'm happy now, happy that I'm comfortable as me, even with all my faults. Excited too, Hikari, Clara, Lauren and I are going for lunch together on Tuesday. Not Monday - bank holiday for the winnnn!

We went to Chiquitos last night, yummy nachos, enchiladas and the most delicious chocolate cheesecake I have ever tasted. Divine.

A weekend full of revision and maybe, maybe harrassing best friends lies ahead. &sleep, lots and lots of sleep.

We are an example of why not to fall in love.

I want your love; I don't wanna be friends.

Since my breakdown/migraine on Monday that kept me at home, this week so far (ie; two days) has been pretty good.

Okay, so I'm still secretly (not so much now) completely petrified of being at college. Otherwise, life's not too shabby (minus insecurities, exams and homework!) (I'm a barrel of contradictions.)

Because I've realised, I have the world right at my fingertips. No, I don't mean technology. What I mean is, I have so much choice. Anything - anything that takes my fancy is well within my reach. I could be so many things, meet so many people, see so many places.

What's more, I don't need anyone else. No need for boring deadweights here.

Although I do plan to drag my best friends along for the ride.

I feel stimulated at the moment. On Saturday, I went to Amy's party (despite wanting to crawl away from the world). I met some really fun, interesting people. I also realised what I really wanted all along.

Other stuff I wanted to say, but I'm tooooo tired!

Oh, fuck you all.

I really could punch someone in the face right now. Anyone.

Anyone intending to screw me over would, for once, be unwise to try it.

Today has been the day from hell.

General complaints include:

• A grand total of 45 minutes sleep, how refreshed I feel.
• Migraines
• Not eating properly
• Travel sickness
• Exam timetable fuckedness
• Pre-exam freak-out and nervous breakdown
• Horrible film in RE
• Not existing to nearly everyone I care about
• Lost iPod
• Mum. 'Nuff said.
• Everything from last nights blog x50 (lack of sleep does that)
• Prodding fucking grass for an entire hour
• Recording machines, they scare the shit out of me
• People being general dicks
• Hormones, woo!
• All typical teenage-girl issues, ftw
• Worry about a wonderful best friend
• Being behind on so much work
• Maths first thing in the morning, seriously. Not when I'm tired, guys.

I could go on and on and on but I'm making myself feel much worse. I want to sleep, scream and suffocate people. My nerves are shot to pieces.

Who's bright idea was it to have me sitting three exams on the same day, and then having THREE WEEKS exam free? Seriously, what!?

Everything and I mean everything is such a mess. I hope tomorrow makes things feel slightly better.

Because after that I'm isolating myself to revision completely for 6-9 weeks.

Laters, if I don't completely lose my mind.

I can do the frug;

I can do the robocop
I can do the freddie
I cannot do the smurf.

This should be short because I'm really, really tired.

I'm slowly (read: rapidly) driving myself completely insane. More than I was before. Maybe I've already hit that point. I can't tell anymore. On that note, I probably have crossed the line.

Where is the fucking line!?

I'm going to say one thing loud and clear right now:

I fucking hate your guts.

and no matter how much I try to convince myself that's the cold, honest truth, it gets me nowhere. At all. It just makes everything feel so much worse.


If I actually hated anyone, it'd probably be myself for being utterly pathetic and crossing over into territories I swore I never would. Irrelevant.

The real truth is... I actually can't admit it. Not in words. Not anymore. That would make it real. If it's real, it'll hurt more, right?

Anyway, it's not like I overanalyse every word, every action. It's not at all like I'm internally freaking out because I feel like you no longer care at all. It's not like I struggle to hold myself together in public. It's not like I've stopped feeling like myself. It's not like I've been losing sleep or anything.

It's nothing like that, at all.

Because, the more I stay in denial the safer I am. Being honest doesn't help matters.

You've really fucked my head up, fucker.

Night.

so tell me when...

...it's time to say i love you.

Green Day write and play incredible songs, bitch.

This morning, our dearly beloved hamster, Panda, passed away. It appears Dougie tried to bury him in bedding and sawdust. That really touched me.

Otherwise, the day was pretty good. Chemistry was alright, so was Biology. We has a nice natter in Doctor Who club too.

My free, however, was the icing on the cake. Amy ditched the Graphics work to come have fun with me. We went for a wander into town where I picked up some new clips for my hair (big ones with cute, colourful flowers - Amy suggested them as they apparently suit me to a tee) and we found her a (second) present for her birthday. The people taking apart the Subway near college (to move it) gave us some vouchers, so we headed off to Subway (one that wasn't on the move) and had a nice pig out. I love Subway, really I do.

I love my frees on Wednesday, they're always the highlight of my week (way too short though!). On Mondays I sleeeeeep and I just leave early on Thursdays. I should probably be working. Should.

I prefer the alternatives though. :)

I've also found a pirate set to jazz up my outfit for Amy's party on Saturday, it will be lovely-jubbly. :) I'm really excited, just what I need to make me feel involved with my friends, y'know.

To finish, happy birthday Amy for tomorrow, of course :)

Love, hugs and bye-bye time,
Spaikaepaiiiii!

Today, I hugged an idiot.

My stomach hurts, I'm tired and hugging an idiot made me feel rather giddy inside. I have the urge to hug a garden gnome right now. I won't though. Not only would I get weird looks sitting outside cradling a garden gnome to my buxom (ha!) we don't actually have any anyway. Life sucks.

Not.

I got two lollies today. TWO! I swear I could eat my own weight in lollipops, brownies and flapjacks (that's a lot as well, I'm very heavy.)

Would do absolutely nothing for my self-image but goodness, that would be so, so delicious.

Oh, I forgot about my mocha/gingerbread latte from Costa. That's also important.

Do you know when bad things happen and you feel really down for quite a while afterwards. Then things feel brighter and happier again. I'm wondering why things have reverted back. Maybe I'm just being too pensive and melancholy at the moment. Maybe it's just because today has been quite cloudy. I thrive off sunshine.

It is a bit sunny though, yay.

Today I decided to apply to be a Student Mentor. I remember when I started Newman, I acted completely out of character and just threw myself in. Inside, I was terrified. What if my friends from All Hallows ditched me? What if no one else liked me? What if I became some freak loner who ended up failing or dropping out?

Thankfully, none of that happened. I stayed friends with most of my old friends (infact, some of those friendships have improved greatly) and made some wonderful, wonderful new ones. In the mean time, I also managed to keep on top of all my work and have a good time.

But, it was scary. Really, really scary. Some people will have it a lot worse than me too. I feel like I owe it to Newman anyway, I'm a much happier, more confident person than I was mere months ago.

I like helping people too. :)

Besides, Heather's starting Newman in September. I'll have an excuse to stick to her like glue without looking like a right weirdo.

Tomorrow, I will become a work of art <3! Clara's painting me with a magnifying glass infront of my eye for her art exam. It's disturbing on soooooo many levels!

& I pick up my new glasses. I've managed to wear them all day without chucking them across the room in a "I don't see why I need to wear them all the time, dammit!" paddy.

:)

Flying Saucer Attack!

Today was a good day :) I've only got to leave my hair a couple more months until it's a decent length, so I'm not hacking it all off yet - it's exciting being so close, I haven't had hair anywhere near my shoulders since I was about six!

I went into town to have my eyes tested. My eyesight has actually improved, but I should wear the new glasses I'm getting constantly to prevent myself from losing them. Yes, I'm an idiot. I have a short attention span. I pick up on silly details and forget stuff that's important like the fact I can't see clearly. So bloody sue me!

Actually, I have wandered around looking for my glasses whilst wearing them. Good times.

Whilst I was ditched in town I bought Costa to go and bumped into Cheetos. The one and only amazing star! & her mother. Cheetos' mum has got it goin' on... You can see where this is going :'D

Anyway, Sue decided to relieve herself of her daughter by dumping her on me. Fun times (y). We blew ten minutes talking to this preacher woman who whispered everything - it was a laugh. ("She needs to learn to shout like you. You could convert anyone out of fear of their heads exploding from the sheer volume." "I'm not that loud!" "...You've been shouting for ages. You never talk!")

Then, after the wind tried to be perverted and peek up Cheetos' skirt one time too many, we decided to go into the Mall. And buy a huge milkshake between the two of us. Flying saucer flavour (hence the blog title). With Refreshers. & whipped cream. Needless to say I got a wee bit giddy.

So, we sat outside an empty, abandoned shop like men. We don't do ladylike. Deal. During that time we drank our yummytastic milkshake and discussed (read: bitched) about certain people (read: fagface, dickhead, shit-for-brains & others). & womens problems. & politics. & my theory that the Conservative party is really an alien plot to take over earth. ...Maybe they're daleks.

Then we played the "I jizzed in my pants" game until we had to go our separate ways.

Yes, I just watched Doctor Who (y)

But I digress, today has been wonderfully fun as any day with Cheetos' in is. & our looooong milkshake conversation helped me sort some stuff out in my head. Nothing like your slaaaaaag of a best friend to knock some sense into you sympathetically (and occasionally with physical violence.)

I love her really. More than I could ever love you :P (Unless you are her. Obviously)

I have the best bestfriend I could wish for.

Night kiddos!

Aliens.

David Cameron is one. That's what I've learned in RE this week (:

Seriously though, that would be fucking awesome. Like Doctor Who but in real life. Aliens trying to conquer earth. It's all because he has hair. That was the giveaway. Tory leaders don't have hair.

Aside from that, I'm in a reasonably good mood right now because I am no longer ill! I have been very, very poorly recently and now I am over that. There's a few issues, probably down to hormonal slip-ups than anything but aside from my intermittent desire to punch certain people in the face, hard, (something I'm likely incapable of) life has been pretty good.

I'm reminiscing Remember Me *sob* with Lauren and our Pizza Hut escapaded. I love Pizza Hut, really I do.

...I wonder if the Mother Pizza Heather and I had was a present from the aliens. They should know we're too young to vote, sorry.

Oh, and delicious, awesome brownies. That I made with Claramon =3. She's giving me the recipe, my mum and I are going to try and conquer them this weekend. Or divide. DIVIDE AND CONQUER BIATCH.

Besides that, my life has been a blur of college work, vomiting (no more!) and Digimon. 'Cause I'm cool like that.

Sunny days abound, yay. Speaking of which, I was in Manchester on Sunday and Sandi and family have invited me to go to Spain with them this summer. See, life is fucking awesome. Anyone who says otherwise can live with me and I'll give them lovely hugs and stuff!

Do you ever get the feeling that you really should just give up on a lost cause? Like, completely give up, not just back away from the issue a little. I feel like that a bit right now. Which is weird, because I never give up on stuff. I can be kind of stubborn and very determined at times. If I wasn't, I'd have failed maths already. Speaking of which, I heaaaart Decision, even if everyone else hates it.

Don't worry baby, I still love you!

Over and/or out. I need to find some extraterrestrials to take me to their leader.

P.S.  I was apparently born like E.T. Cool, huh? :)

mraaaaaaawgh.

I actually need to stop replacing words and conversation with an assortment of strange noises. True fact.


This week has been one hell of a whirlwind. I actually feel physically dizzy when I stop to think about it.

I'm losing my mind, you're in my head all the time
I'm losing my mind and you're just fine.


Pimping out a bit of Better Than Toast right there (y), they're really good. I'd say they're better than toast but that would be:

a) A really, really lame pun.
b) Meaningless, seeing as I don't really like toast anyway.

I'm slightly irritated right now, to be perfectly honest. One minute, everythings fine, next day I'm getting ignored? Oooooh. It makes me want to punch someone really hard in the face.

However, I cannot throw a punch to save my frigging life.

I'm still can't stop thinking, re-thinking and overanalysing. And wanting. Really desperately wanting something I know fine well I can't have. Maybe I'm just being a spoiled little brat or something but it's really difficult to let go.

Today, I was supposed to be going swimming with Cheetos. But she's gone materials shopping instead. Cow. (I love her really!)

& latest Ouran chapter made me a very, very happy bunny this morning.

I don't want to be away from college for two weeks. Yes, the real reason is sad, pathetic, lame and a plethora of similar adjectives. One track mind and all that, ho-hum. I really do need a break though. I'm so stressed and barely sleeping at the moment. Y'know, studies show my lack of sleep is making my friends 20% more likely to smoke weed. I really am a bad influence after all.

This week should be quite good, at least. I'm probably going out for lunch with my lovely mother tomorrow and I'm at Clara's on Tues-Weds. We're going to bake brownies, yay! (Let's hope no one dies in the process.) It's my parents twentieth wedding anniversary on Weds which is so, so cuuuuute. Then I'm going to see Remember Me with Laurennie on Saturday. Good stuff (y).

So, I really shouldn't feel this hollow, should I? Bah. I need plans for the second week.

I also should watch my newly reclaimed Potter DVD... and tidy my room.

Over and out :)

Diary

My God, this is what this is actually turning into :'D!

Hi diary, I should give you a name. I'll pick one after my homework :3.

I was in a state earlier. Now, I feel pretty clear and calm. Best friends do that to you. The world isn't ending - this is just the beginning. I want to really live first, anyway.

And frankly, my priorites are ever changing. I'm coming to terms with who I am and what I really want out of life.

CHOCOLATE AND SEXY DEAD WIZARDS.

:D

When you realise something horrific.

it really, really freaks you out.

I'm physically shaking, right this second. I can accept certain things, yes. But, I have serious, serious doubts about whether the future is going to be... I don't know.

I've come to the conclusion I'm a very, very weak person. I need to stop repeating every adjective twice. Basically - I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with "friends". I'm a selfish, horrible bitch - get the fuck over it. Truth is, I don't know if I can cope. It physically hurts. Thinking, seeing, talking... they all make me feel so, so, so much worse (so isn't an adjective and I said it twice so fuck off!)

I'm actually talking to myself right now, this is literally my inner monologue (slightly editted). Proof I am going insane.

I have realised and somewhat accepted that we're never going to be together again. That I have most definately lost that for good. It's my own fault. It's my own fault all of this happened, actually. I warned myself, tried to stop but... I'm weak, what can I say? The fact that that's never coming back... kills me inside.

Then there's the fact that nothing, in the entire world can guarantee we'll ever be friends like we used to be. Infact, it's pretty likely we'll end up settling for something much less. Why bother at all? All it'll be is a constant reminder, a constant hollowing out of my chest.

I'm too weak for that. Especially right now.

That's my current train of thought, at least. I am aware that for the past few weeks, I haven't been thinking very clearly. This is the most sense I've made in ages, actually. Right now, every other thought is really quite dangerous to me. So, maybe I should cut myself out of this cycle, at the very least.

Catch-22, I'm going to hurt so fucking much either way. That's why I can't be honest and say this stuff. Because I'm not 100% sure it's what I want. I probably will change my mind somewhere down the line. Right now, I don't wanna even leave the house. The world scares me. I feel like a small child.

I can't cope with this alone, but I'm going to have to. So, maybe I'll just take it one step further.

Who fucking knows.

We're of to see the wizard...

...the wonderful wizard of Hogwarts :D

Eugh, I had a lovely dream where I was at Hogwarts with certain people, back in Marauders era. Fucking awesome, maaaan. I wish I hadn't woken up, really.

Current life report: STILL no sign of any ambiguously gay esper boys to whisk me off my feet and stuff. Yeah, life sucks like that.

May or may not dye my hair today. Depends if I can get the right colour dye. Or have time. Or can be arsed.

I'm wondering which Pokemon game to download first, decisions, decisions.

Mornings are odd. Strange. Weird. I haven't had much time to think, so everything just comes out as nonsense. Win!

I have sooooo much work to do today. I wonder why I didn't do it yesterday. Life is quite the mystery to me.

It's the Easter holidays soon! No one has any idea how relieved yet terrified I am. I need the break though, I feel so... drained right now.

Lemon drops!

I am not a fucking potato!

...Sometimes I actually worry about the dreams I have. Yes, I had a dream arguing with someone about my status as a potato. Why a potato? I don't know... maybe it's 'cause I like mashed potato?

I slept reasonably well last night. When I woke up this morning, it was raining. Hot, too. I hate it when it's hot and rainy. I don't like hot weather too much anyway but hot rain seems... very sad. Cold rain seems energetic and excited. I prefer cold rain. Cold, rainy and preferably a thunderstorm would suit me, much, much better. Needless to say, after two hours out in the rain, I was piss wet through. Strangely, my cold seems to have moreorless cleared up.

I started thinking about the rain an awful lot. Even though it seemed really sad at the time, you can't have a rainbow without rain. The sad, depressed rain deserves to become a rainbow the most, I think. Well, maybe not deserves, but I think it needs to. It's kind of like the ugly duckling, but I'm terrified of birds and I was chased by a swan once... What I'm really saying is, I love rainbows - they're bright, colourful, happy and different. Special. But still happy. I like that, I really do. So, I really hope this mornings sad rain became a happy, shiny rainbow :)

Currently, I think I feel a little like the rain. Heck, at the moment I'm so melancholy I wouldn't be surprised if a squad of esper boys came to sweep me off my feet :3 (If you read this and understand that joke - LET'S GET MARRIED!) I want to be a rainbow, like those earrings Amy bought me for Christmas. At the moment I just feel so stressed, drained and... I can't think of the right word, but it's not important - you get the idea. It's like I've been washed and faded out. I can't shine seven different colours. Infact, I'm not even a warm colour. Cliche as it is, I feel like I'm turning grey.My head looks like grey, swirly clouds. Not storm clouds, just the dull, overcast ones. The ones that try to rain slightly and fail epically. Those ones.

I may or may not be going insane but I'm certainly not becoming a rainbow. I'm gonna have to try harder - there'll always be some sunshine, right? This whole blog post makes no sense and feels muted to me.It's weird. I feel really alone right now, too. Even though I'm aware I have wonderful friends just a moment away.

Nothing makes any sense.

That one sentence could potentially sum up my entire life at this moment.

Adieu, losers :P