...Sometimes I actually worry about the dreams I have. Yes, I had a dream arguing with someone about my status as a potato. Why a potato? I don't know... maybe it's 'cause I like mashed potato?
I slept reasonably well last night. When I woke up this morning, it was raining. Hot, too. I hate it when it's hot and rainy. I don't like hot weather too much anyway but hot rain seems... very sad. Cold rain seems energetic and excited. I prefer cold rain. Cold, rainy and preferably a thunderstorm would suit me, much, much better. Needless to say, after two hours out in the rain, I was piss wet through. Strangely, my cold seems to have moreorless cleared up.
I started thinking about the rain an awful lot. Even though it seemed really sad at the time, you can't have a rainbow without rain. The sad, depressed rain deserves to become a rainbow the most, I think. Well, maybe not deserves, but I think it needs to. It's kind of like the ugly duckling, but I'm terrified of birds and I was chased by a swan once... What I'm really saying is, I love rainbows - they're bright, colourful, happy and different. Special. But still happy. I like that, I really do. So, I really hope this mornings sad rain became a happy, shiny rainbow :)
Currently, I think I feel a little like the rain. Heck, at the moment I'm so melancholy I wouldn't be surprised if a squad of esper boys came to sweep me off my feet :3 (If you read this and understand that joke - LET'S GET MARRIED!) I want to be a rainbow, like those earrings Amy bought me for Christmas. At the moment I just feel so stressed, drained and... I can't think of the right word, but it's not important - you get the idea. It's like I've been washed and faded out. I can't shine seven different colours. Infact, I'm not even a warm colour. Cliche as it is, I feel like I'm turning grey.My head looks like grey, swirly clouds. Not storm clouds, just the dull, overcast ones. The ones that try to rain slightly and fail epically. Those ones.
I may or may not be going insane but I'm certainly not becoming a rainbow. I'm gonna have to try harder - there'll always be some sunshine, right? This whole blog post makes no sense and feels muted to me.It's weird. I feel really alone right now, too. Even though I'm aware I have wonderful friends just a moment away.
Nothing makes any sense.
That one sentence could potentially sum up my entire life at this moment.
Adieu, losers :P
No comments:
Post a Comment